Ha! I have finally awakened my lazy bum out of its tardiness, and decided to upload. I have so much work I want to put up that I'm getting lazy just thinking about it.

Well, at least I'm bored and staring blankly at the wall now. Because I can! That's what I tell all my friends who want to go out and do something. "What are you up to?" "Oh, nothing, just staring at the wall..." "Dude, why?" "BECAUSE I CAN!" Poor things... they don't understand what staring off into space means to me. They just don't understand that for the past 6 months I haven't been able to get a good, decent daydream (let alone sleep!). So, semester over for me, and I'm not taking any summer courses... bring on the daydreams! And I have decided to cut myself off from the outside world for a while. Im just too darn lazy to get out of the house. This semester really sucked me dry!

And so I depart. With more uploads to come. More daydreams to enjoy.

All of this is brought to you by my lovely new iMac! I finally got internet working on it after having it rot on my desk for a week! I am now eternally a Mac geek.

Only one term to describe how I feel. FINALS. And all the baggage that comes along with that word. Let's see... ermm... there's stress, sleepless nights, over-smoking, too much caffeine, vision blurring, big dark patches around my eyes and too many red veins in it.

I have a book to design. A nice, professional-looking book... with grid systems and perfect balance between the elements. That's taking up all of my time. And right now, I haven't even started on the computer. Just sketches and random juggling of thoughts.

Oh, and I also have an Art History presentation on Surrealism next week. Which I haven't even spent a thought on. It's an interesting topic though, so I might just disappear into it for one day.

Oh, oh! And I also have 100 or so drawings to make. Yeah, just 100 or so. Some larger than A0, too. Fun.

One good thing came out of today though. I finally got an A in Computer Graphics. In two projects Finally realized my capabilities, that guy. I'm not mediocre after all

Meh. So that's it. Hoping I would tell you something fun, like I went partying last night and got completely sloshed? I wish. Parties and sloshing are distant memories. All I have are cigarettes.

My parents don't get why I'm so busy. They're adding to my stress because they get mad when I don't go out with them or clean my room. "We went through college, too, and we had time for everything!" TRY BEING AN ART STUDENT AND YOU'LL SEE THE TRUE MEANING OF "TOO BUSY"!! Why don't they understand that I'm doing something I love, something that I can actually excel in and in turn could lead to big bucks which would eventually support they're whiny, old selves? It all goes back to them anyway. God, how I hate parents.

Probably won't be coming on here for a while, until my semester ends. And after I wake up from my 3-day sleep, I promise that I will upload some work. Because I am quite proud of some of them. Wish me luck on that book! I need it! Tah!

I'm depressed. Very, very depressed

Despite the fact that I work my ASS off to submit quality work... things don't quite turn out as they should. Let me explain. In my Computer Graphics class, we had that project (link) and I got a B. I know I may be over-whining, but if you compare this project with all the others in my class... well.... 'nuff said. And what bugs me the most is that my teacher told me in private that "I'm too good", "I'm not struggling enough" and if I were less talented he would have given me an A+++, but coming from me, its just B work. Its my first time with Illustrator! Hard-work is to be compensated! Stupidpieceofmotherfuckingshitasswipe! Oh well. I guess it's just depressing really because all my other teachers say the same thing. I'm getting Bs because the work on my own personal level is just a B.

I hardly get any sleep as it is. I guess in order for me to get that A I so terribly crave, I must not sleep at all. Either that, or accept the fact that a curse is upon me because of this "talent". I'm not boasting. I'm sad about it. So, mediocre artist I am!

Hugs to everyone. Hope you're all un-mediocre

Bah. So... it's mid-term time! Wheeeeeeee!

But actually, these past couple of weeks has not been AS hectic as before. I'm doing alright, my mid-terms have all passed except one exam tomorrow. So there's not much work right now, because all my teachers are busy correcting the work. Alleluiah for that. Just wait till the gates are opened once more, give it a week or two. Hell will break loose once again!

I think that I've reached that point in the semester where I'm just blank. I'm a zombie with no flesh-cause. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want my cigarettes and my work. That's it.

I'm a weird person, I'll give you that. But I just wish that this 'certain someone' would stop bugging me. I talk when I want to talk. But this person is just plain annoying. I'm being a bitch. But hey, I'm annoyed so do excuse.

Anyway, I'll stop the depressing talk. Cheers, everyone. Hope you're all having a better life on earth at this particular time than me.

Note: A humungous thanks to all of you who have been adding my work to their favorites. I'm just getting quite a few that I don't have time to reply. But I really do appreciate it!

Since my boyfriend is so tired of listening to my daily ritual of complaining and is actually going to attack me some time soon, I will vent my frustration out into the big, dark void of dA. Be prepared for the longest rant of Rant History.

I HAVE SO MUCH WORK!
And there I was, thinking that 4 courses was not enough! Doofus, I am. I can't keep up! Actually, if I were any normal person, I would be able to. But I spend half of my time obsessing over every minor thing so that all my work looks good. If I didn't do that.... well no, actually, it's psychologically not in me to not do that.

Every waking minute is dedicated to college work. My room is a pig sty, my shoulders are stooping so low that they're reaching hell and back (because off all the stuff I carry), my parents don't understand (it's hilarious how they still expect me to do housework) and my relationships are fading into whisps of their former selves.

I don't have time to talk to anyone. I am slowly becoming a solitary creature. Well, more than I was before, anyway. I have so much work that you can literally see stress coming out of my nostrils. I barely have time for a smoke! So I'm sorry, but I will risk my "social status" for the glory that is my cigarette break.

Here's what I got piled up so far: a 40-page sketchbook journal due in 2 weeks, a big landscape drawing that has to be "the best ever", a cluster of homework drawings that have been sitting ducks for the past week, learn the human anatomy (well, I dont HAVE to, but you know me) before we start model drawing in 2 weeks, a series of well-observed sketches of individual body parts, a Typography project due Tuesday plus a bunch of compositions that I'm supposed to create out of thin air, a Computer Graphics 3D project (and sadly, I'm an Illustrator virgin) and dog a couple of teachers for the newsletter (yes, i joined. an early death? i think so.)

And all this is due in the span of 2 weeks, with the sarcastic undertone of all of it being up to my personal standards. Isn't college fun?! Gleeeeeee!